MY CONFESSIONS

(Preached on August 5, 2007)

I will not execute my fierce anger; I will not again destroy Ephraim; for I am God and no mortal, the Holy One in your midst, and I will not come in wrath.                                                                                         -Hosea 11:9

 

Back in June one of the theological blogs (a sort of personal journal on the world wide web) that I read joined with some other bloggers in posting their theological confessions.  They started by confessing truths about their theological book collections, readings, etc.  They soon moved on to other theological topics and beliefs.  Someone even contributed the Oxford definition of Aconfession@ to illuminate what was taking place.  A Aconfession@ is: 1) a formal statement admitting to a crime, a reluctant acknowledgment; 2) a formal admission of one=s sin privately to a priest; 3) a statement setting out essential religious doctrine.  All three elements of the definition were evident on the web.

 

It occurred to me that this was a good practice for all of us to engage in, but especially for those of us who tend to put out in public our statements, commentary, teachings, thoughts, ideas, etc, for consumption by others.  Especially, after 13 years preaching in the same pulpit, it might be good for me to share with you my confessions, at least some of them, just in case you are not too sure what I believe, where I stand, and especially some of the things I might not always be too clear about or even honest enough to state.  So here goes, a little reluctant acknowledgment, a little formal admitting of my own sins, and a little setting out some of my essential religious beliefs.

 

Beginning gently, and picking up some of the confessions I read on the web, I confess that a majority of the books that I own I have not read.  I used to worry over this truth, but have embraced the approach of a Roman Catholic sister I met at St. Thomas University in the Spiritual Companionship program a few years back.  She did not worry about that reality about her own books, but still bought books and subscribed to book clubs in the belief that when the time was right for a book, she would have it and be able to turn to it, or be able to share it with someone else who needed it.

 

I confess that I often find the best theology in poetry, fiction (especially science fiction) and movies.  As C. S. Lewis, J. R. R. Tolkien, and now J. K. Rowling have demonstrated, some of the most powerful ways to communicate timeless religious beliefs in ways that the masses will consume and experience is through popular literature.

I confess that I love to sing and I love a variety of music.  I was raised to know that our faith is a singing faith.  I appreciate all sorts of music, including classical and opera as well as Hip-hop, rap and pop.  But I especially love country and western, jazz and blues, classic rock and love songs, whether Italian, French, Spanish or Irish.  I am sure the heavenly realm is filled with choirs of angels and worshipers, but I doubt it is only Bach and undoubtedly includes some Leonard Skynard, Led Zeppelin and Kenny Chesney.

 

I confess that I have participated in charismatic-pentecostal, Holy Ghost anointed worship, raising my hands to heaven, singing endless praise songs, letting myself be open to the movement of the Spirit and be swept up in the emotion of the hour.  I have participated in the Mass, trying to follow the Missal, getting lost in the prayers and the confused by the kneeling, standing, sitting, kneeling process; yet still sensing the wonder and awe of the spectacle; I have preached and led liturgical and free-style worship for 27 years.  Yet, more and more, worship that is attractive to me is the Quaker contemplative mode of sitting quietly in prayer and openness to the presence of God and waiting on a word from the Spirit.

 

I confess that science and reason have always had an important role in my approach to the world, life, and religion.  Yet, I know deep in my heart that God is always greater than we think.  No images we can conceive, no language we can employ, is ever able to capture even one dot, on iota, of the reality that is God. Therefore, there are many things science and reason cannot explain, always will be, and I have a strong attraction to the mystical and mysterious elements of life, and a smattering of humility about my beliefs about God.

 

I confess that for me, life and faith are a journey, always evolving and changing, hopefully growing in healthy ways that meet the challenges and difficulties of life in a positive manner, though I know that to not always be true for me.  It is a communal journey, made, hopefully, in the company of God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit, and many, many other companions, human and otherwise.

 

I confess that I never really did, and definitely no longer do, understand Christianity as the only story to explain the way God relates to the world and to human beings.  Throwing in Judaism doesn=t solve my quandary.  It just doesn=t make sense to me that God only worked through one small tribe in the deserts of Egypt and Palestine for a few hundred years, and ignored all the millions of people in China, India, the South Sea islands, and the Americas, not relating to them, nurturing them, gifting them, caring for them, loving them, all during that time.  Judaism and Christianity offer a story, a very good story, to help us understand God and life, but there are many other good stories as well.

 

I confess that my theology is more and more influenced by my experiences in life, and less and less influenced by scripture, tradition or the creeds.  I grew up being taught black people and native peoples were inferior to white people and homosexuals were an abomination before God.  As I came to know black people, native people, and gay, lesbian and transgender people and to appreciate their talents, gifts, thoughts, belief, I came to know them as fully human, children of God, with hearts and minds, dreams and hopes, talents and capabilities C the same good and bad impulses, emotions, and drives as I had.   I came to see there were other Bible teachings about our oneness in Jesus and God, but it was my personal experience with people that changed my outlook and approach to scripture more than my reading of scripture that changed my outlook.

 

I confess that God=s judgment and justice scare me and I worry for the future of the world.  I agree with the statement of Thomas Jefferson who said that he trembled for the nation when he thought about how God is just.  It is not so much that I believe God is out to punish us, but I do believe God created the universe with certain Arules@ and Alaws@ in place and when we break those, there will be consequences that God probably will not override.  At the same time I don=t worry much about life after death, trusting what happens then to God=s eternal love and care.