(Preached on Sunday, August 9, 2009)
Everything you are and think and do is permeated with Oneness. But that doesn’t mean you should all look and speak and act the same. Out of the generosity of Christ, each of us is given his own gift. -Ephesians 4:7
Recently I heard a rumor on the CCC grape vine. Now, I normally do not pay attention to such items, since they usually are shared “anonymously” from the unknowable “they said” who can never be concretized. But this one concerned me a bit and if there is any truth to it at all, illustrates an attitude which clearly needs to be addressed. I “heard” that “someone” in the church received an email forward to a number of church members. I don’t know what it was about actually, but it came with a note attached from whoever forwarded it that “at least everyone in Christ Congregational Church is a Democrat.” This person who received this email was understandably bothered by that comment since they are a registered Republican. And of course, this rumor came to me with absolutely no names attached to it, so I have no idea who sent the email or who received the email, if either of them happen to be real people.
But, it does illustrate a dangerous attitude with which the apostle Paul would strongly disagree. It also is a false statement. We are an extremely diverse group of people in this church. We have people in this church who represent the entire political spectrum, from Republican to Democrat to Independent. We have conservatives and liberals and progressives and socialists. We have people who originated from all over the world: from Cuba, Argentina, Peru, Colombia, Puerto Rico, Mexico, the Dominican Republic, Honduras, Jamaica, the Bahamas, Trinidad, Barbados, Canada, France, New York, Ohio, Texas, Florida, Missouri, Michigan, New Jersey, Massachusetts, and I am sure I have left someone out. We have young people, old people and middle-aged people. We have Congregationalists born and bred, along with Evangelical & Reformed, former Southern Baptists, Assemblies of God, Presbyterians, United Methodists, Lutherans, Episcopalians, Roman Catholics, again to name just a few. We have Jewish people and practicing Buddhists worshiping in this church. We are a very diverse lot.
We are proud of our diversity, and should be. As an Open and Affirming Church we proclaim clearly and continuously that we “welcome all people in all of God’s variety.” As the apostle Paul proclaims, our diversity is part of God’s plan communicated through Jesus and embodied in the Church: which is called to live out God’s design of a unity which embraces God’s created diversity. As Paul stated, “Everything you are and think and do is permeated with Oneness. But that doesn’t mean you should all look and speak and act the same.”
There’s a huge difference between unity and sameness. We tend to think that if all of us in our church believe the same thing, we have unity. But all we really have is a boring sameness. Unity with another person – with another group of people – involves a deep joy at the differences of culture, ideas, and politics – differences that can enrich all of us if we take the time to deeply listen to each other. This idea is in serious danger of being lost in our nation especially in our government and our political square. Fewer and fewer people are listening to one another and treating each other with civility and respect. Now, more than ever our society needs places like the church, and especially places like Christ Congregational Church and the United Church of Christ where we seek to be an Open and Affirming and a Safe environment for anyone and everyone.
What does it mean to be a “safe” Church? It is an environment where people are free to be themselves, without artifice or the fear of secrets or the fear of revealing their true selves. It is a place where we are able to freely share our beliefs, values, ideas, in an open and accepting environment. How do we build such a “safe” environment?
The apostle offers us some guidelines in this passage. Paul lists four attitudes that will go a long way toward building a “safe” environment. Those attitudes are humility, gentleness, patience and loving forbearance. As Eugene Peterson translates these attitudes in the paraphrase version we read this morning he does so in this way: “do this with humility and discipline – not in fits and starts, but steadily, pouring yourselves out for each other in acts of love, alert at noticing difference and quick at mending fences.”
Notice the apostle begins with “humility.” I believe this attitude is first because it is the most important and the key attitude. Humility has always been a radical idea. Humility was not a virtue in the Greek and Roman world of Paul’s day. Those who were lowly were necessarily in the position of looking up to others; they were weak and needy. But for a follower of Jesus, humility is a virtue, a foundation. We cannot receive God’s greatest gift, the Spirit of Christ, without recognizing our lowliness, our incompleteness, our need for God. Humility begins by bringing us into right relationship with God. It then brings us into right relationship with one another. With the eyes of humility we begin to recognize Jesus coming to us in each person we meet. Thus, each person becomes a vessel bearing Christ, from whom we can learn and a child of God whom we must not judge. Humility is what truly builds community for it helps us to recognize the gifts within each person. We are then able to acknowledge our need for those gifts. We better understand and accept how we benefit from them and how they benefit from us. After all, we belong to each other because God has brought us together, connecting us to one another through and in Christ Jesus.
An attitude of humility helps me to better know myself. This is important for understanding my biases. A bias is not a good or bad thing – it is a personal preference. Biases become problematic when they are expressed in ways that limit another person’s freedom of choice, freedom to be themselves. We cannot get rid of our biases, but we can manage them. If we are aware of our biases we can begin to control how they affect our behavior.
Our personal preferences, values and beliefs are what make us a diverse people. There are primary and secondary dimensions that influence our biases. Primary dimensions are: race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, physical ability and gender. These are dimensions that we cannot do anything about. Secondary dimensions have an element of choice, but still strongly influence our values: geography, religion, education, marital status, parental status, profession, income, military experience. These dimensions show us how many different influences affect how we look at a situation, how we look at other people, and what we expect from other people and life. If we remember that everyone is affected by so many different dimensions, it will help us to be less judgmental of others, and more willing to listen with an open heart. This is practicing humility.
Along with humility the apostle calls us to a life of discipline or patience. The word “patience” is derived from the Latin verb passio, which means “to bear or endure.” Patient people are those who can bear trials and pains with calmness and grace. They are able to put up with delays, wait for the right moment, and bide their time. Patient people are more flexible with time. Impatient people exist in only one time frame: their own. They are comfortable with only one schedule: theirs. They want things done when they want things done. And they expect the rest of the world to adapt to their schedule. Patient people, on the other hand, can flow back and forth between different time frames. Waiting in line for a few extra moments while an elderly lady chats with a cashier invites patient people to momentarily set aside their own schedule and enter with compassion the schedule of someone else who is lonely and who has more time than she knows what to do with.
Impatience grows out of a need to be in control, to be first, usually out of a desire for security. One way to cultivate patience is to practice “yielding.” Practice yielding by listening to others all the way to the end of their statement before even beginning to formulate a reply. Practice yielding when driving rather than fighting for the first spot at a traffic light or passing three more cars before moving into the highway exit lane. Practice yielding by deferring to your spouse in how to do a particular household task rather than always insisting it is done the “right” way (our own way.) The opportunities are endless, the rewards great, but the risk is real. We won’t be in control. But we will grow more patient.
Along with humility and patience the apostle calls us to practice gentleness, or as the paraphrase put it to be “alert at noticing differences and quick at mending fences.” We live in a world of violence, growing more violent every day. Gentleness is a welcoming disposition toward all of life. One way we can become gentler is by becoming more aware of the little ways we do violent things. Catholic monk, mystic and author, Thomas Merton once said that when he undertook to become nonviolent, he started by closing doors softly. Perhaps we can start there too. Then we can move on to other practices like: walking more slowly, speaking more respectfully to people – especially those with whom we share the same house and the same house of worship, using gender inclusive language, letting someone else go ahead of us in the checkout line, visiting an elderly friend, volunteering at the homeless center, getting involved in promoting justice, praying for peace in our hearts and in the world. Slowly, but surely, we can grow more gentle.
Finally, the apostle calls us to loving forbearance, or again from the paraphrase: “pouring yourselves out for each other in acts of love.” This is going one step beyond the Golden Rule. This is acting in a selfless way toward the human beings right in front of me: the co-worker who cracks her gum all day, the elderly woman who talks incessantly, the teenage boy who is such a smart aleck, the next door neighbor who plays his music too loud. “Acts of love” are always concrete. They always make a specific, personal demand upon us. “Help carry those groceries in from the garage – now! Offer to change that tire – now! Run to the store for milk – now!” This love is self-sacrificing. It means that I put others before myself. It means I would rather honor than be honored, rather serve than be served.
This love is behind all of the other attitudes. Love is the bond, the tie that binds us. It is God’s love in Christ which makes us a family. It is as we come to understand, experience, and share this love that we find ourselves growing ever closer to one another. With love we are able to embrace humility, patience, and gentleness. With love we can build a safe church.